Your taste is so discreet and sophisticated, you can tell without asking what kind of fish the caviar came from, you are very good. All the other girls hate you for it.
PISCES
You're world class, modern day you'll be a great diplomat or judge because you're so powerfully distinguished even slogans stick to your shirt.
CANCER
You simply refuse to fall to the level of lowly and nonsense, in fact you're even offended that I used the word there
VIRGO
You avoid hate speech and lewd imagery you don't talk behind other people's backs until they start talking behind your back.
LIBRA
Most of the time you are just a normal pretty girl who does a lot of makeup. But every time you look like a shock rocker playing in a bar full of isolated youngsters.
GEMINI
A cartoon showing twin brothers named Goofus and Gallant is going on, goofus is an uncivilized slogan that always gets into trouble.
CAPRICORN
Mostly you walk straight and narrowly at least on weekdays because you have work to perform and pay bills.
ARIES
Well this is where we start crossing the tracks and going to the bad part of the city but you have, not that, that you drink and smoke too much but you do.
LEO
It's not that you're free, it's just that you have at least a year's one-night stand. You contribute to charity
SCORPIO
You're proud that you have two pairs of UGG shoes— one for servant's work, the other for 'special occasions not that you asked, but it would be nice if you take a shower every once in a while.
SAGITTARIUS
Remember the time when you told everyone on Facebook about a girl who has shingles? How was it about the time when you thought it appropriate to wear a fishnet bodysuit to the wedding?
AQUARIUS
You speak too loudly, scaring dogs and children, you're so useless, you start big fights in the barroom and then steal whiskey from behind the bar when the bartender intervenes.