Aries

His vast galaxy destructive ego and as big an ego as a small man.

Taurus

You're obviously there for their pleasure and convenience but they never felt like they should give back a little bit.

Gemini

He has less taste in humour, music, literature and films, they can be good at numbers and assemble carburetors.

Cancer

Nine out of ten men should be prohibited by law from dancing in public.

Leo

Only men make fun of the weak or disabled, only men hesitate to give their time to visit their loved ones in the hospital or help those less fortunate.

Virgo

Snoring, what's the deal with men and snoring? Why is it that when they fall asleep, it feels like they're trying to smell the universe with their nostrils.

Libra

Neglect. Why do boys whose face resembles the surface of the moon always feel the need to tell women that they will become a little beautiful if they get rid of their acne?

Scorpio

They're pressing your tongue down through you like they're trying to get dinner out of your stomach and half the time their breath is a stale mixture of smoked fish and salami.

Sagittarius

They have no sense of romance, they want a man to walk five miles into the woods and come back with the most beautiful wildflower you've ever seen.

Capricorn

The primary struggle in a man's life is to distance himself from his mother and define himself against her.

Aquarius

Fear of commitment. Dishonesty? To tell lie? Are you forgetting your birthday? Calling you by another woman's name? It seems they're less afraid of catching shingles than just settling down with a girl.

Pisces

grossness. How do we find any of them attractive, the stains they leave on their shorts, the smell they leave in the bathroom, in the farting and belching and nose-picking and hair weird places?

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